Pussycat
by capslock-nanao
Summary: It's all Szayel's fault, Grimmjow thought as she stared at her new body. But that was okay, what with new hot emo nights. -UlquiGrimm, genderbender!


**pussycat**

**A/N: **ahahaha, sorry, Grimmjow, but I HAD to. This is the first of three chapters, two more will come eventually. Today I am boredly depressed; genderbenders shall fix that!

"If you'll just step inside," Szayel said politely.

"I don't trust you," Grimmjow snapped.

"That's perfectly all right, I don't expect you to. Please come inside," Szayel repeated.

Grimmjow did so. "But only because this was the deal," he warned. "Don't do anything funny or I'll cut your fucking dick off. If you've even got one."

"Oh ho ho, you're hilarious," Szayel snickered. "Let's see...which potion would you like, hmm?"

Grimmjow snorted and crossed his arms. "None of 'em."

"Griiiiiimmjow," Szayel sang, "that was the deal. Pick one~!"

Grimmjow sighed. "Are any of them lethal?"

"Noooo," Szayel said, looking hurt. "I made sure."

Grimmjow sighed again and looked at the line of potions. There were five.

The first one was blue with green bubbles in it. It looked innocent enough. Probably send him inches away from death.

The second was bright red and looked as if it would explode when touched. And judging from Szayel's loving look, it probably would.

The third was black. Deep, dark black. It would make me an emo, Grimmjow thought. Pass.

The fourth was totally clear. Looks like jizz, Grimmjow thought.

The fifth was pink. Not bubbling. It looked like a strawberry smoothie. Not exactly innocent, but better than ominous explosives and emo potions. He picked it up and sniffed it. Smelled like roses.

"That one?" Szayel's voice was gleeful. "Ooh! Yes! Do take that one!"

"What's it do?" Grimmjow said dubiously.

"That would ruin the surprise!" Szayel giggled.

"Eh. What've I got to lose?" Grimmjow gulped it down. It tasted like candy. "Tastes better than I expected."

"Five..." Szayel counted.

"What are you counting for? What's going to happen?" Grimmjow began to panic.

"Four..."

"Szayel!"

"Three..."

"You fag, what's going on?"

"Two..."

"SZAYEL!"

"One!" Szayel began to laugh maniacally.

Grimmjow passed out.

-o-o-o-

"Nnn..." A girl's voice woke Grimmjow. His eyes opened slowly. Szayel's face awaited him.

"How do you feel?" Szayel was smiling widely and creepily.

"Weird." It was a girl's voice.

"Notice anything different?"

Grimmjow sat up slowly. "Yeah...I...OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

Szayel giggled. "He noticed! I mean, she noticed!"

"I HAVE FUCKING BREASTS! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL! OH MY GOD!" Grimmjow screamed. "SZAYEL, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FUCKING POTION?"

"Curse words are a sign of limited vocabulary," Szayel scolded.

"TO FUCK WITH CURSE WORDS, WHERE'S MY DICK!" Grimmjow screeched. Oh god, in a girl's voice. This was so wrong. This was painfully, horribly wrong. Szayel was one fucked up mastermind of horror.

"The potion was an estrogen, X-chromosome chemical composition," Szayel explained. "Hormones and chromo-"

"I don't speak science, tell me in plain ENGLISH why I have a PUSSY," Grimmjow snarled. Girl's voice girl's voice girl's voice oh god.

"Because that potion changed your gender," Szayel said. "It worked!"

"I fucking hate you, Szayel," Grimmjow said.

"Before you kill me, could I take some observations from this?" Szayel raised a pen.

"Augh! You know what, fine!" Grimmjow sat up in anger. "Take your damn observations! And go get me a shirt!" His usual uniform didn't exactly cover up the two things that were currently on his chest. And just because Szayel was probably gay did not mean he wasn't perverted.

As Grimmjow changed, he answered Szayel's questions.

"Did you experience any physical changes?"

"Yes, asshole. I have boobs the size of Halibel's. I have a pussy. I do not have my manhood. My voice is weird. Ya wanna know physical changes? I'm a fucking girl! A FUCKING GIRL!"

"I see. ...And, did you experience any emotional changes?"

"How the FUCK would I know?"

"I don't know, I'm just asking. I think I need to do a field test."

"What? You're not changing me back?"

"The X-potion takes twelve months to wear off," Szayel informed him-her, actually.

"You're SHITTING me."

"Nope!"

"I am fucking pissed."

"You aren't acting on it."

"Because I'm a girl!" Grimmjow snapped. "I don't even know how Pantera works anymore! God, this is so uncomfortable!" He stared down uncomfortably at his new chest. "Wrong, Szayel, you are wrong!"

"No, I'm quite correct," Szayel said serenely. "Now, about that field test."

"I'm not going out in public like this!"

"What, you're staying in my lab for a year?"

"No! Fuck knows what else you'd do to me!"

"Then you have to do a field test," Szayel told him. "It's not as if people would laugh at you. They're too afraid you'll a) pound them into the dust, b) rape them, or c) reject them."

"Reject?"

"Well, I'm no expert, but you're probably very desirable to men," Szayel said thoughtfully.

"The fuck?"

"Well, I think big breasts are a major factor in that, but your face isn't too bad, either," Szayel offered.

"Gimme a mirror!"

Szayel pointed to a full-length mirror on the wall.

Grimmjow stepped up to it. Reflected in the mirror was a tall woman, slender but well-built, with a chest to rival Tia Halibel and a model-perfect breastbone and neck. Her legs weren't visible under the folds of the uniform, but if Grimmjow's newfound sensitivity to her body had anything to say about it, those were some unbelievable legs.

Grimmjow peered at the face. Her hair had gotten longer, reaching almost down to her shoulders, and it hung down in front of almond-shaped, seductive blue eyes. The nose was thinner and the mouth was fuller. The cheekbones were more defined, and-

Wait.

Why the fuck was he thinking like this? Defined cheekbones? What the hell?

"You did something to my head," Grimmjow said shakily. "What did you do?"

"You're a girl, inside and out," Szayel said. "So your personality will also change."

"There are no words to describe my hatred towards you."

"See? You've already graduated from curse words!" Szayel clapped his hands with glee.

"I have to go out like this?"

"If people ask - oh, who am I kidding? When people ask, tell them Szayel did it. They'll stop questioning you after that."

Grimmjow considered. Now that she thought about it, they probably would.

"Will you please field test for me?" Szayel begged.

Grimmjow sighed. "Okay."

"Whoa, really?" Szayel said, surprised.

"Yeah. I mean, if I'm stuck like this for twelve months, I may as well get the most out of it," Grimmjow explained.

"Oh. Well." Szayel thought for a moment. "I'd suggest finding Halibel first. You need a bra and you're probably about her size. Oh...and I'd also suggest getting some other things..." he trailed off.

"What things?"

"Just ask her for the necessities," Szayel said.

Grimmjow raised her eyebrows. "Well. If you say so." She turned to go.

"Come back every month or so for a checkup, and we'll see how you're doing," Szayel called to the woman's retreating back.

-o-o-o-

Grimmjow walked to Halibel's room, hoping he wouldn't run into anyone.

Wishful thinking.

"Whoooooa!" Nnoitra rounded the corner. "Grimmjow!"

Shit.

"Hello, Nnoitra," Grimmjow sighed.

"You...you...you're a girl!" Nnoitra said with amazement.

Grimmjow frowned. "Szayel."

"Ohhh!" Nnoitra nodded. "So. You got a pussy?"

"...that's private, Nnoitra."

"You did!" Nnoitra laughed. "That's rich! Where you goin'?"

"To see Halibel. Apparently I need a bra."

Nnoitra burst into more laughter. "Man, you're so dead! When Ulquiorra hears about this, bet you five bucks he'll crack a grin."

"Okay, you're on. But I've gotta be there for it," Grimmjow said. He and Nnoitra were buddies. Of course it wasn't going to be that bad-

"Hey, do you wanna take some pictures?" Nnoitra said suddenly.

"Take some-no! No! Nnoitra! No!"

Nnoitra looked crestfallen. "Okay. Okay, whatever. I hope you have fun. You know, have fun getting that bra, right." He lifted a hand before loping off past Grimmjow, who sighed.

He reached Halibel's doorway and knocked reluctantly.

"Hello?" Sun-Sun peered out. "Ohh my. Sexta-san, is that you?"

"Szayel," Grimmjow said tiredly.

Sun-Sun tsked. "That man is insane. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not even sure he's a man. Would you be wanting to see Halibel-sama?"

"That's what I was told," Grimmjow replied.

Sun-Sun inclined her head respectfully and motioned with a long-sleeved hand to enter. "Halibel-sama, an unexpected visitor to see you," she called. Grimmjow followed her into the room.

Halibel looked up from a book, looking uninterested. Suddenly her expression changed. Though Grimmjow could only see her eyes, it was clear she was amused. "Jeagerjacques-san. Did I miss something?"

For the third time, Grimmjow ground her teeth and said, "Szayel."

Laughter. "And you are here for what reason?"

"Szayel told me to ask for the necessities," Grimmjow said wearily. "Also, apparently I'm about your chest size."

"It's called cup size," Sun-Sun offered.

Halibel got up, abandoning her book, and approached Grimmjow. Suddenly she put her hands around Grimmjow's boobs and squeezed.

Grimmjow pulled away with a girlish scream. "Don't molest me!"

Halibel sighed, withdrawing. "I am not molesting you. I was trying to figure out if you were, in fact, my size. I have memorized it, you see."

Grimmjow stepped back, wary now. "Well, if you say so. Can I just get the stuff and go?"

Halibel laughed again. "Certainly. Follow me."

Grimmjow followed the woman into her room, where she immediately dove into a tall dresser. She pulled out six black bras and several pairs of matching underwear.

"What do I need underwear for?" Grimmjow asked.

"Do you expect to be wearing boxers for the entire duration of your change? Don't dryclean those bras," Halibel warned as the blue-haired woman collected the undergarments.

"Fine, I'll tell my fraccion." Grimmjow winced, having just realized the jokes her fraccion would make until she kicked their dirty little asses.

Halibel went into the bathroom and emerged with a plastic CVS bag. "I have to go to the world of the living for these, so be sparing," she said. "Also, don't leave them in for more than eight hours."

"What?" Grimmjow looked inside the bag and then paled. "You can't be serious."

"Jeagerjacques-san, you are a woman," Halibel said, obviously relishing the sentence. "I am afraid you have no choice."

Grimmjow was loath to touch the boxes within, but she pulled one out anyway. "Are there...instructions?"

"This is like teaching my daughters about their first period," Halibel said amusedly. "Yes, Jeagerjacques-san. If you need more, please let me know, but don't be wasteful."

Grimmjow dropped the tampon box with aversion. "Aah-yes. Is that all?"

Halibel considered. "Perhaps ask Aizen-sama for a new uniform," she mentioned. "The shirt you are wearing is decidedly loose. Whose is it, Yammy's?" She chuckled. "I am sure you would prefer something tighter, especially if you wish to attract those of the male persuasion."

"Wha-what? No! Nothing of the sort!" Grimmjow stammered. "That's nasty, I'm not gay!"

"Possibly. What you are is a woman. And your choices are women - which I would recommend to almost anyone but you - men, or nobody. Make your choice."

Grimmjow frowned. "Disgusting." Of course she didn't want to go without sex for a year, but what else could she do? She'd figure it out later.

"Well, let me know. I'm curious," Halibel said lightly.

-o-o-o-

Dressed in her new uniform, Grimmjow paused outside her room, unsure of how her fraccion would react. She was wearing a skirt now (as if it was much different from those old pants) and a much, much tighter shirt that showed off her chest very nicely.

She reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly. She peeked in.

"Oy, hot girl alert," someone howled. Music was blasting. Oh great, were they having another party?

D-Roy, of course, was the first to respond. "Hey, ba-oh shit. Grimmjow?"

"Szayel did it," Grimmjow said helplessly.

"That blows," D-Roy said, staring at Grimmjow's chest.

"Hey, my eyes are up here," Grimmjow snapped.

"Sorry," D-Roy said. His eyes did not move.

Grimmjow rolled her eyes and pushed into her room. Everyone fell silent very quickly.

The music played in the background, unaware of the disturbance, until Luppi went over and shut it off (clearly unaffected by the bombshell).

"What happened?" Shawlong finally asked.

"Szayel happened," Grimmjow said. "God, Ylforte, what's up with your goddamned brother?"

"I know, he's twisted," Ylforte answered.

D-Roy was still gaping. "Who cares how it happened? How come you get those and we don't?"

"You think I'm enjoying having a pussy?" Grimmjow snarled. She instantly regretted it as D-Roy's interest turned to admiration. "God, no. Don't even think about it."

"Sorry boss," D-Roy mumbled in apology.

Luppi scrutinized Grimmjow with a careful eye. "Love the top."

"Thanks, got it from Aizen," Grimmjow said.

"Heh, you guys sound like a coupla teenage girls," D-Roy snickered.

"I'm still a man," Luppi sniffed, crossing his arms.

"Hardly," Ylforte added.

Luppi's hand went to his zanpakuto, but all he did was glare.

"So, is this gonna change anything, boss?" Nakeem asked.

"Nah, but I'm stuck like this for a year," Grimmjow said, going over to lay on her bed.

"A year!" D-Roy could hardly contain his excitement.

"Aw, go jack off, Linker."

"Are you happy?" asked Ylforte.

"I dunno. Not really. I mean, I won't get any for a year unless I want to be somehow gay. But I think I'm pretty damn hot, so I don't know."

"You are," Ylforte mentioned.

"Thanks?" Grimmjow wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Anyway, that's what's new. Do I have anything to do tonight?"

"Um, Ulquiorra said he wanted to come over," Nakeem volunteered. "Something about cero?"

"When?" Grimmjow stared at the ceiling.

"Five minutes."

"Five minutes!" Grimmjow sat straight up. "Get out, then!"

"Why so serious?" D-Roy snickered.

"Because you guys are gonna laugh when he comes in and reacts," Grimmjow said defensively. "That's not cool."

"You sound so much like a girl," Ylforte said suddenly.

"Get out, fuckers," Grimmjow hissed. They did.

The door opened suddenly, and Ulquiorra walked in. "Grimmjow, Aizen-sama wanted me to-oh, my."

Grimmjow looked up. "Oh, hello, Cifer. You need something?"

"What did Szayel do?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Finally, someone I don't need to explain myself to," Grimmjow sighed. "I made some shitty bet with him and lost. The deal was for me to take one of his potions. Which I did, which led me to this. For a year."

"That is unfortunate," Ulquiorra said slowly. "Ah. I think. I will just. Go now." He backed up and out, shutting the door behind him.

-o-o-o-

Once Ulquiorra was inside his room, he was reminded of the reason why he didn't have fraccion.

He slumped on his bed and told himself aloud, multiple times, that he was absolutely, expressly, certainly not allowed to feel attraction to anyone.

Let alone an arrancar.

Let alone an Espada.

Let alone Grimmjow.

**A/N: **hope you enjoyed! Yes, this will be an UlquiGrimm. Unexpected semeness, I know, but I plan on having some fun with Grimm. Muahaha. Any ideas for the following chapters, lemme know. I may end up doing five if there's a good turnout for this chapter. Which means, review like hell, my dear friends! ~Nanao


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